Matthew 16:24-26 (ESV)
“24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?”
These past few days has been quite difficult for me. I’ve been wanting to pursue my hearts desires which is to go into the ministry. Daily, I’m planning and waiting and waiting but nothing seems to be happening. I’ve been feeling like I’m stuck at my job, wanting a change but nothing was happening. So I would work from home but it got to the point where I’d probably only work once or twice a week in the office.
It wasn’t until I got a meeting invite from the CTO to talk about the “Work from home Policy”, I realized I was really losing it. I don’t know what’s wrong but I didn’t like coming into the office and would prefer to stay at home. I was getting my work done but the CTO wanted to make me aware that what was happening wasn’t alright. It’s ok to stay at home should my child be sick or something come up, (which did happen) but all the other times, I kinda didn’t really have an excuse. So panic hit me and I started reaching out to people for alternative solutions. One of my friend’s response hit! Like watching the Rock body slam the bad guys.
Her response was that no one ever pursued ministry but Jesus asked for people to follow him. “Follow me”. Here I am trying to pursue something, making it into my own agenda when in reality all I really needed to do was follow Him. I’m like……damn. After this ah ha moment, I decided to take a break from social media and intentionally made decisions where I was telling myself to follow God. When I go into work now, I imagine that he is walking ahead of me. Just like it says in Deut. 31 vs. 8 “God goes before me and will be with me”. God has been bringing me here because there is something here for me to do. Just like praying, sometimes things takes time to see a change and I may never actually see the change in my life time but God is still at work.
My perspective has changed. I’m coming into the office with a different mindset and with the down time I have, I’m using it to better myself by reading different literature, trying something new like building my own blog/website. I’m not certain where this little project will lead to, but I do trust and believe that this all remains in God’s hand and it will not go in vain.
I want to challenge you not to get caught up in the final destination because that destination may not come the way you envisioned it. Trust God and trust the process!!